Lord,
As a teen mom, i learned so many lessons from you.
Faith. When the world said I was too young and the circumstances were not right, I had to make some very adult choices, with some very adult consequences. I had to decide if I would not merely believe Your Word, Your direction, and Your heart as Creator over anything else, but more than that, if I had faith that You meant all those things for me.
I chose faith. I chose life.
Direction. While I was pregnant, I learned about taking the next right step. The very next place I was to go, where I was to stay, how I was to walk out my pregnancy. I learned it was no longer all about me, but about me doing what was right for both of us. The road would not be easy, and the journey was pretty rocky at times, but You continued to guide me and lead me.
I followed. You led.
Fight. I may have been young, but I learned I was stronger than I thought. I had the strength to do what needed to be done. To stand for and defend my convictions. To fight against what others might say, their opinions, or even common practices. I had to learn to fight for and defend the very life of my child. Grit. Some days just took grit.
I fought. You fought for me.
Surrender. My surrender to You, Lord. I never fully understood what it meant to surrender to something larger than myself until I carried my son, but once I did, my heart would never be the same. That You would ask me to carry this life; to care for and nurture this new life? Yes, Lord, I will. The rest of my life has been forever changed due to that moment of surrender.
I surrendered. You knew.
Religion. I do not want it. Religious people can be cold and uncaring. They can be judgmental and unkind. Religion is not all it is cracked up to be. Religion left me shunned, silenced, and stranded. Religion kicked me out.
Religion kills. Religious people do too.
Relationship. Love invited me in. Family welcomed me. My fiancé stuck by me. Some of our community supported us, helped us, and believed in us. Your love showed through them, and I have treasured relationship with them ever since. I learned the value of living in relationship with our loved ones and community. What a blessing to my life!
They loved. I received.
Wisdom. I learned there are things to keep in my heart and prayers, that not everyone can or will understand how I think and feel. Walking in wisdom means I did not say everything on my mind, or give some a piece of my mind, but I knew there would be a day truth would come out.
Wisdom is quiet sometimes.
Timing. Your timing is everything. I did not understand it, I truly did not even like it, but Your timing for me, for my baby, and for both of our lives has proven to be precisely perfect. You are the God of all-time after all. Yet I cannot lie, I questioned and doubted but ended up trusting Your timing over my own, and I can tell you, Yours is always better than mine.
Your timing. Not mine.
Love. The love of family and friends. But even more, the love I felt from You throughout my pregnancy and after. You were so present. You were faithful. You protected us. You guided us. You brought people from everywhere to help and encourage us. They brought us gifts when my baby was born to make sure we had everything we needed, and to celebrate his life. I will never forget their kindness. You led the way. You provided. You watched over us like a loving father watches over his child. I guess that makes sense, as You are Abba, Father. I prayed and prayed to be able to love my child in all the ways I had felt Your love for me.
I love. You loved first.
It has been such an unimaginably beautiful life!
Watching my son grow and learn. Seeing him become a man. Not just a man, but a good man, who loves You, cares for family, loves deeply, and invests in others. A man when faced with trials, stands in faith. A man who has honored me and cared for me all his life. I will forever be thankful to our community of faith who walked with us through the tough days and seasons, held us up, and encouraged us.
My baby. My son. Now a man.
You see, it has always been about relationship. That is the way You, Lord, designed us to live. Yes, there are still those religious and pious people who persecute us, yes, the enemy has done his best, but You always had a plan. One I would have never seen fully without choosing to carry my son and getting to see You unfold Your plan before us throughout our lives. Oh, how I love You. Oh, how thankful I am for the life of my son. His entire life he has been a blessing to me. How could I have ever known all the ways You would use him in my life?
As I write this Lord, and remember back all these years, it’s hard to believe that he turns thirty-two this year. A man. Your man. Would You continue to watch over him as he walks out Your call on his life?
Lord, I will always love You for all you taught me through my son… Your Son. Jesus.
Love,
Mary
Written by Connie Coleman
Consultant, Coach, Christian Communicator
