“My mom keeps forgetting that Erika is my baby not hers!” was something I heard quite often from Angela. I had been working with Angela for nearly two years, since Erika was 6 weeks old.
I decided I had heard that statement enough so I set up an appointment and met with Angela’s mother. During our hour conversation Angela quietly sat in the room with us. The older mother told me a completely different story than what I had heard from Angela.
You see, Angela’s mother was just as frustrated with her daughter as Angela was with her mother. “Angela sleeps in every morning, leaving Erika in her crib crying. If I don’t get Erika from her crib, Angela will just sleep right through the screams!”
Do you sometimes feel like your mom is trying to be your child’s mother? Did you ever think that maybe your actions are telling her that you think she should be your baby’s mother? For example:
- Like Angela, do you let your mom take care of your child in the morning so you can sleep in?
- Do you let your mother decide what your child should eat for dinner?
- Do you let your mom dress your child every day?
Did you notice the one word repeated over and over again in those examples? This word is “let”. You may have handed your mothering responsibilities by letting your mother take care of your child.
Your child is your responsibility. If your mother wants to help your out occasionally, that’s great, but always remember you are the one who is ultimately responsible for that life you carried for nine months.
If you’re having the same trouble with your mother as Angela was having with hers, take a look at what your actions are saying. If your actions are communicating to her that you’re willing to let your mother take over your responsibilities, you might want to start changing your actions.